DC or not to be?

In a blatant attempt to gain hits from the geek population, here's some ridiculous thoughts about various DC characters, that I swear I didn't just think of right now, whilst watching an Adam Sandler movie for some strange reason.

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If Batman's so friggin' amazing that when he went back in time during Final Crisis and left elaborate clues as to how to enable his return, why didn't he just send his parents a time released letter, telling them not to go to the Theatre the night they were shot?

What, you couldn't think of an elaborate and complicated Bat related scheme that involved putting a stamp on an envelope?

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Doc Magnus of Metal Men fame is widely recognised to be slightly embarrassed by his robot Platinum's affection for him.
Everyone around him, from other heroes, to the rest of the Metal Men accept this with a smile and a quip and no one ever points out one simple fact.

Doc Magnus programmed these robots, none of the others have ever shown love for any other being, animate or not, (Shut up Nameless fans, Tin is a pussy) and even when Doc rebuilds them after every inevitable "accident", he never corrects that flaw.

Colossal pervert.
And these comics were for kids?

A star is not all you're getting tonight.

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Comics are getting more and more realistic and adult orientated right?
So what happens when Poison Ivy needs to visit a gynecologist?

Think about it, she's pure poison, so is there some specialist out there in the DCU who deals with super parts?

Come to think about it... 
Who's the Shark's dentist?  
Who is Man-Bat's vet?  
Where does Hal Jordan go to get little Hal checked out when he's "pulled a Kirk", does OA have a clinic?

Hey, fuck you okay, Kevin Smith made money writing this stuff.

And seeing as I doubt I can lower the bar much further..I'll leave it at that.

Wait, did I say I couldn't go any lower?

I'm JSayonara..and I'm way too old to be thinking about this stuff.
Not that that's gonna stop me.